You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
