try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
