forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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