you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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