So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
my shit smells like andre
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize