I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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