will power is for people who don't want to get laid
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
