Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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