your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
