one two three fourrrrnication!
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
