Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
