Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
