My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
