just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
