Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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