I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
