Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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