woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
