I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
