A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
