"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
