dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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