yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
kristin has been a bad kristin
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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