i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
