so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
