I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
