you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
