I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
