And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
