his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
