Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
