guys are not supposed to queef...right?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
