it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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