I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
