That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
