all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
