BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
