ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
