Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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