She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
