I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
