i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize