So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
