I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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