I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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