So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
