at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
