did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
