I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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