the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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