Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
So much rum. So many feels.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
