perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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