One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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