Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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