please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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