We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
