I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
he was CRYING into my vagina
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
