just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My breasts were aching with rage.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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