hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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