My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
