He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
