his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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