What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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